We all have a past; one filled with hurts and mistakes that are painful and sometimes even too painful to relive. Most of us do our best to forget those times along with the person we once were. None of us are perfect, yet it’s through those mistakes that we have become the person we are today. And it’s in our willingness to be open and “real” before others and Yahweh about our past that brings healing to our lives and help to others, which in turn shuts the mouth of the enemy. And who wouldn’t want to shut the enemy up?
For those who would like to know the old me… here is a quick synopsis of my life.
I was a thief, a liar, a manipulator, a disrespectful daughter, an ungrateful sister, a hurtful and selfish friend, an accusatory voice, a person filled with anger and anxiety, someone full of pride, insecure, lacking in faith, prone to speaking curses rather than life, boastful, judgmental, open to gossip, worldly, stubborn and arrogant. And that’s just scratching the surface. I could write an entire book detailing each one of my mistakes and all the ways I’ve hurt others, and Yahweh. My sins were many and should have landed me in one of two places: jail or the morgue.
But, if you were to ask me who I am today, I would have to say that I am the complete opposite of the person I just described. I am a person of gratitude and hope. Someone who sees the good even in the most terrible of circumstances. A person of integrity, excellence, truth, joy and peace. A person full of life, smiles and simply grateful to be counted worthy of the call. A person who loves, gives, serves and does so with my whole heart.
So the question then becomes, how did I change? How did that old person become the person you see today? The answer: because I was willing to do anything and everything the Father required of me, no matter how hard or how seemingly impossible it was, in order to stand before Him worthy and forgiven. I allowed Him to work in my life, to remold my heart, to purge my sins, to prune my branches, and to put me through the presses. It was painful, it was tough, at times it was filled with agony as He revealed myself to myself, but in the end it brought forth the greatest reward.
I stand before you today, not perfect, but confident in who I am in Christ, our Messiah. I stand before you a lover of God, of myself, and of others. I stand before you willing to admit my mistakes in order to prove that the Father can and will change even the hardest of hearts. I stand before you humbled that the Creator of the Universe would choose ME to bring a message of hope and truth to the world. I stand before you broken… but in a good way: broken for a purpose because in my brokenness I am a living testimony of God’s power to change lives.
It doesn’t matter who you are, what mistakes you’ve made, or what terrible things you’ve done in your life, God can change you if you give Him the chance. You have to be willing to turn it all over to Him… and I mean ALL of it. Take the time to get honest before Him. Open up the innermost parts of your heart as you stand before Him naked and “real.” Seek Him with your whole heart willing to hear His voice of correction and love and willing to do what He says… because after all, Father knows best.
Are you willing to give Him every part of you? Are you willing to go through the presses? Are you willing to be made whole? It will be worth it in the end. I’m living proof.